The Problem with Telephones

Technology and I just don't get along anymore. My famous line is, "What ever happened to the simple on/off button?" All the bells and whistles that come with each technological apparatus just overwhelms me. Even our telephone has buttons, buttons and more buttons. This much I do know, the green button means power connection, and the numbers are for dialing up the party I want to reach. I can handle that. But if one can't see the green button nor the numerals, let alone REMEMBER the numbers to be dialed ... well, you can see that there in lies a deeper problem. Enter my Dad; can't see well, can't figure out how to operate and can't remember the numbers even if his vision were 20/20. His lack of ability to operate a telephone was one of the deciding factors that lead us to conclude that there would be no more "home alone" for Pop, not even for short periods of time. Obviously in the event of an emergency there would be a total inability to find 911 on the phone pad and the memory banks would undoubtedly be unable to regurgitate the appropriate numerical combination anyway.

Occasionally my Dad's memory will turn to Mary, his wife in Oregon. The yearning to make a phone call will overpower his fear of failure and he will approach the frightening object with hope and anticipation. I guess today was one of those days because I came upon him punching buttons and trying to listen for a dial tone. Obviously having no luck at making his phone call he looked up at me, then back at the device and then at me again he said, "I'm not familiar with the phone system here," meaning in Texas. What being in Texas has to do with it I don't know. Aren't all phone systems across the country pretty universal?

Seeing his need for help I approached him and immediately recognized why there was no dial tone, no connection. Not being able to contain myself, I burst out in laughter! Pop looked at me confused. Rolling it around in his hands he took another look at the piece of plastic and then handed it to me. Calming myself, I took the "telephone" from him and began to explain. The odd looking phone that he had up to his ear was NOT a telephone at all. It was one of our TV remote controls!