Bath Time

If looks could kill I'd be dead every Saturday -- bath day. Yes, he bathes once a week and only because I make him. Also, because I can't handle the push-back I get from him any more then once a week. Why he hates bathing so much I will never know. Is it the confusion that it creates trying to keep the dirty clothes straight from the clean? Is it the unsettled feeling of climbing in and out of the tub? Or just the imposition of something that he is required to do weekly rather then something he would prefer to do?

As I place his clean clothes in the bathroom I say, "Here is your clean underwear. I'll get the space heater for you." I have learned that I must handle this process very matter of fact or he will engage me in an "if looks could kill" expression-battle or sometimes a full blown verbal battle, pushing my buttons and bringing me to the verge of melt down.

11:00 AM -- After depositing his necessities in his bathroom I leave and he begins to putts around, going back and forth from his room to the bathroom, digging in his overnight bag looking for who knows what, an obvious avoidance approach and an attempt to gain control of the process. It almost appears that he is trying to create confusion for himself so he can blow his own cork and engage me in a verbal argument.

11:15 AM -- Pretty soon he is at my bedroom door. I ask, "Do you need something pop?" He gives me an "I dare you to mention a bath" look. I see we are in for an all out war today.

Round #1 -- I fall into his trap and I say, "I thought you were going to take a bath?" He tells me that he'll do it when he is ready.
One point for Pop.

Round #2 -- Pretty soon he is at my back in the computer room with hat in hand with another "I dare you" look on his face. I ask him what he is doing and he tells me he is going to take a little walk. This time I take my emotions in hand and I am in control. I say, "OK." And out the door he goes.
One point for Judy.

I begin to plan my battle strategy.

Round #3 -- Perhaps if I bring my husband into the scenario this will help. In front of my dad I "mention" to my husband that today is bath day but pop doesn't seem to want to take a bath. The response comes back, "I'm gonna take one. I'm gonna take one" and my husband tells me to "chill." Big help he is!
Round three I lose.
Two points for Pop.

Round #4 -- I'll try the guilt approach. It is getting close to lunch time by now so I say, "Pop, are you hungry?" He drops his head a little. "Well, I don't want to be a burden. I can make it myself" The guilt approach appears to be working. I say, "well I always take care of your needs," ... the one two punch!
Two points for Judy.

Round #5 -- Our son gets into the fray. "Hey, grandpa. You gonna take a bath?" SILENCE from pop.
Three points for pop.

Round #6 -- "Anything I can do for you?" he says. He's trying to make peace with me. I tell him, "not right now" and walk away.
Three points for Judy.

Round #7 -- He sits down in his chair.
Four points for Pop.

12:30 -- Round #8 -- Our son asks again if he is going to take a bath? "Yah, I'm going to," said with irritation in his voice! Tactical error on Bret's part. Pop is digging his heels in now and has headed out the door for walk #2. Gonna work up a little more sweat for the bath I guess.
Five points for Pop.

1 PM -- Round #9 -- Pop is in the bathroom. It is quiet. I believe we might be making some progress. Nope he is shaving, again.
Six points for Pop.

1:15 PM -- Round #10 -- I go to the bathroom door and put my ear to the door to see if I can hear water running. Another point for pop for getting me to stoop to such stupid measures.
Seven points for Pop.

At 1:30 he is still wandering back and forth between his bathroom and his bedroom. I have no idea what he is doing. I put his laundry basket in the bathroom and remind him he can put his dirty clothes in the basket when he takes them off for his bath. He ignores me, get's his cap on and goes outside for walk #3.
Eight points for Pop

By this time I am being so badly beaten I'm wracking my brain for some strategical advantage to try to regain some of my lost points. Ignore him back, I think to myself. Deny him the opportunity to do chores for me when he asks, "Is there anything I can do?" Yup. I've got two great plans.
Four points for Judy

2 PM -- Pop has returned from his walk and is sitting in an easy chair. I normally offer him tea after he returns from a walk. I'll deny him his tea. Maybe he'll get the connection.
Five points for Judy -- I'm making some progress.

2 PM -- Round #11 -- He is pouting. Yeah!
Six points for Judy

But I am feeling really, really annoyed. It has been three hours since I first mentioned bath time.
Nine points for Pop

Round #12 -- I'll take a walk and show him!
Ten points for pop for getting me to compete with him.

Round #13 -- It is a warm, sunny day with a cool breeze. I take a brisk run down the road to and from the mail box. I come back exhilarated and pop is still pouting. Another point for me.
Seven points for Judy

He is pretending to be asleep but cracks his eyes open when I walk by. Ha!! He's competing! One more point for me ... but I must admit, he is still not in the bathroom. So that is one more point for Pop as well.
Eleven points Pop
Eight points Judy

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It is three O'clock in the afternoon. I am out of tactics. Pop has completely forgotten the 4 hour competition that we had going on earlier today and out of shear resignation I start the same scenario all over again. "Pop, here are your clean clothes. Here is your laundry basket. Here is your towel and wash clothe, your shampoo and soap." I wait totally at his mercy to see what he is going to do with that information.
AHA!!!! I hear water running in his bathroom.
One more point for Pop because nothing I said all day long had any impact on the outcome. He is taking his bath because he just decided it was time to take a bath.

Total Points:
Pop 12
Judy 8

POP WINS AGAIN!