Hovering

Now as hoverers go my dad is the best of the best of hoverers. Hovering happens throughout the day at various times and for various reasons. With arms neatly folded at the wrist in front of him he will hover quietly shifting his weight from one foot to the other. I call it his good-boy-stance. Favorite hovering times are any time that he has a need, a want or is bored. But his most favorite of all favorite hovering times is dinner time.

It starts about 4:30 when the hunger pangs begin to settle in. I may be sitting at the computer working and I will see him quietly melt into the room and come and stand behind me. Shifting his weight from one foot to the next he'll pat me on the shoulder and say, "Is there anything I can do for you?" Or "How is your day going?" or just plain old, "how are you doing honey." What he is really saying is, "it is 4:30, you are not in the kitchen starting to cook and I am getting very, very worried that dinner will not be on the table by 5:00."

When I can't take the hovering any longer I make my way into the kitchen. Then the BIG TIME hovering begins. He will mosey over to where I am peeling potatoes or whipping up my concoction and watch me. I know at any moment he is going to say, "Is there anything I can do to help?" and when I say, "No" he says, "Well let me know if there is anything I can do" and he slips a few steps away. He might even circle around the kitchen into the living room but he always comes back to the kitchen to hover at a distance.

I know when the hunger pangs are getting really bad because hovering will be coupled with pacing. He will hover at a distance watching me and then begin to pace around the room, followed by walking from room to room and back again to me. When I've had all the hovering and pacing I can stand I sometimes resort to drastic measures like POINTING. With a great sweep of my arm I will point in the direction of the family room which means, "leave now, and it can't be fast enough!" He will mutter something under his breath like, "I guess you just want me to get out of your hair."

The more compassionate approach is for me to offer him a cup of tea. Tea is his solution to all of life's problems and my way of escaping from every irritating, bothersome, annoying thing that he can throw at me (I will get more into the topic of tea-time in another blog). Often if I offer him a cup of tea it not only gets him to stop hovering but it takes the edge off his appetite giving me added time to complete the meal with some level of peace.

Once the food is being ladled onto the plates I hear, "Oh boy." He gets up from his tea and taking his "good-boy-stance," he hovers one last time before I say, "Come and get it!"